So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I wish i was in the wii world.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
