but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
