I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
