His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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