I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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