Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
