the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
