Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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