All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
