She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
