Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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