Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize