I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
