I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
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