I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
