So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
