i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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