Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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