and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
