we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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