I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
