just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
