Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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