Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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