I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
