i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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