oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
