Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
