____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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