TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
