wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
