I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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