girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I need to sanitize my soul.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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