It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
