I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
where are you?
Hypothermia
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
