I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
