I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
