trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
