It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
