capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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