I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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