We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize