That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
