I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
