I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
