so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
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just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
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We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I have feelings that need drinking.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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