He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
