just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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