weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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