Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm just crazy horny about you
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
