I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.