Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.