oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket