they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
