It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We were destined to go to rehab together
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.