i already hear my dad disowning me
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize