In the future we'll all be gay
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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