why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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