there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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