I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
