CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
