it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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