I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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