I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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