90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
