The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place