I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.