oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
